Mood: depressed but it’s not so bad.
I know I said I had the it is what it is mindset but things are still hard. I cried a couple times today. I know time heals everything. I’m just waiting… I know I’ll be stronger once this pain goes away but I Can’t help but ask why. Why do I have to go through this? It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to see him every day and know what they are doing every time they leave the office for hours and hours. I know I’m only dealing with this situation like I am because I’m OCD and crazy. I know that I’m crazy… I really can’t help it. I hope I find someone to love my crazy one day. I say that but part of me doesn’t want to let myself care about anyone else. Or maybe I should just be done with guys period. I am attracted to women too so maybe I should try dating a woman instead. I’m not really sure at this point. Either way I need to get my shit together first. I don’t think anyone wants to be around someone who is always in a bad mood all the time. Or someone who isn’t happy with themself. I know I need to focus on myself right now.
I’m super busy at work and it’s such a blessing. I think everything would be a lot worse if I wasn’t busy.
I started drinking a gallon of water per day last week. I can honestly tell a difference already. I notice that I don’t need my afternoon dose of caffeine anymore. I feel like I can tell a difference in my complexion too. I know it’s too soon to notice all the benefits from drinking a gallon of water per day…. But I do feel better though.