10/26/2019 @ 9:21pm

Mood: Neutral

Day 15 without a 🚬

Today has been okay. I slept like 12 hours last night though. I know this is really bad but I average about 6hrs of sleep each night during the week so I like to think I was catching up on sleep. If that’s even really a thing…

I went to town today with my little cousin. We went to a costume store to buy accessories and a mask for the Halloween costume she wanted to make. Afterwards we went to Wal-Mart and then the grocery store. We were gone for over 3 hours… The day flew by. When I got home I watched TV with my granny for a little bit and then helped my cousin make her Halloween costume. Now I’m just watching TV again. Such an interesting life, right? I haven’t been that productive today besides the little bit of laundry I did this morning. I really want to do my weekly cleaning on my house tonight but I will probably just wait until tomorrow. I can’t help but be so lazy on the weekends. I’m usually very busy during the week.

I think I am going to take a break from social media. I find myself creeping and scrolling a lot. I like to see what’s going on in other people’s lives because I don’t really have a life obviously. Weird or not.. That’s what I do. I’m not really sure how to change that since I have no one to hang out with. I know there are websites used to meet people and find friends but that’s just weird in my opinion. I like being at home but I wish I had more going on in my life at the same time. I guess the only thing missing in my life is someone to enjoy life with. Or live life with. I’m talking about a friend or boyfriend. I do have one friend but we really don’t hang out or talk enough to even talk about. She has a boyfriend that lives with her. It’s always so weird for me when I hang out with both of them. She never really asks to hang out anyway. I normally initiate everything. She did at one time but I never would hang out with her because I was in a very dark place. It is what it is… I am going to try not to worry about this stuff and hope that everything falls into place one day. I know it will but I don’t know when. I really hope it does before my granny passes away. I will be lost if it doesn’t because I spend allll my free time with her and my little cousin. It’s unhealthy if you ask me. I’m too attached to her. I could not imagine what I would go through if something happened to her right now. I know it’s not good to think about but I can’t but help but think about it sometimes. Geez I need a life. Or at least stay at home more than I do. Don’t worry, be happy. If only I could do that…

I bought a lottery ticket tonight. OMG if I won the lottery I would go back to school to become a Dietician/Nutritionist. Unless it was the jackpot and then I would open up an animal sanctuary. We all know I wasted $3 though. (And there is no way I could go back to school and work full time)

Published by lostinmyhead07

I'm an Engineer who has a severe case of bipolar 1. I'm just trying to stay in control and win this battle with bi polar.

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