10/19/2019 @ 5:23pm

Mood: doing okay y’all. Not too bad today.

Yesterday was a bad day. I was so busy at work and barely got anything done. I was so depressed it was hard to get anything done. I came home and took a nap and felt a lot better when I woke up. It was very surprising. I’ve felt okay ever since my nap. Last night I worked on cleaning my house and doing laundry. My little cousin came over and dust for me. We watched some stand up comedy afterwards and greys anatomy. Ordered pizza and just chilled. I love my quality time with her. She is my baby girl. She is 12 but will always be my baby girl.

I slept over 10 hours last night. Not sure if my body was catching up on sleep or if I am still depressed. It’s so weird that you can be depressed and not even know it. Either way today has been a good day. I went to Wal Mart and went out to eat with my granny and little cousin. I’m about to go to the movies with my dad and step mom. We are going to watch Joker. I wanted to watch Gemini man but my dad wants to watch the Joker. All the brutal violence isn’t something I care to even watch. I guess it will be better than going to the movies by yourself…. Maybe?

If you ever read my about me then you are probably wondering why I would want to go the movies with my dad and step mom. I just try to forgive…. It was a long time ago and they both were young. They have such a good relationship now that I can’t help but try to forgive her… And my dad is just my dad. I have to forgive him and try to forget the past. He does love me a lot and I love him too.

I’ve realized it was so silly for me to be tripping over a guy. I’m not really sure if these feelings will be different when I go back to work on Monday. My low self esteem is why rejection is so hard. I need to learn how to love myself before I ever get in a relationship.

I’m so thankful that I am feeling better today. I’m definitely going to church tomorrow.

Published by lostinmyhead07

I'm an Engineer who has a severe case of bipolar 1. I'm just trying to stay in control and win this battle with bi polar.

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4 Comments

  1. I’m so glad that you’ve had a good day, my friend… Going to the movies and going for something to eat… i find it really relaxing and chilling.. It’s nice that you’re with family too, people you feel comfortable around, you should be proud of yourself, as you have taken one step forward into the outside world…love and believe in yourself. Go girl, πŸ™‹πŸ‘..

    Liked by 1 person

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