10/17/2019 @ 6:06pm

Mood: depressed and crazy

Okay so today makes 6 days without a cigarette. I feel like I’m going insane. I’m not sure if I will be able to do this or not.

I’ve been depressed all day. Tired. Irritable. Anxious with racing thoughts. It’s been horrible. One of the hardest days so far.

I did manage to get a few things accomplished today but there was a half of dozen other things I could have done. I remember walking in the bathroom and feeling like I was floating looking at my own body. I couldn’t help but ask God why me. I’m sure from reading my post you are seeing that I’m losing my mind over here. I read that it takes up to 3 months for your chemicals in your brain to adjust after you quit smoking. I’m not sure if I can handle this.

It was so bad about 30 minutes ago I tried to meditate but I kept thinking about how I’ve been acting like a fool at work bc of ***. My whole personality has changed. I’m shy and insecure. Everything has changed. I felt like my head was going to explode with racing thoughts. I don’t want anyone around me. Everyone is getting on my nerves. I’m really starting to have trouble functioning like normal. Scary but it’s the truth.

I did pray and ask God to make it go away… I actually feel 10xs better now. Still not 100% and I know it will only come back.

I am about to go to kick boxing so hopefully I will feel better afterwards.

Published by lostinmyhead07

I'm an Engineer who has a severe case of bipolar 1. I'm just trying to stay in control and win this battle with bi polar.

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5 Comments

  1. I believe in you! Right now your body is indeed in nicotine withdrawl but I have good news! It only takes a month for your body to stop rejecting the lack of nicotine! Not three! Your body feels like its shutting down because your brain is screaming for nicotine, but keep distracting yourself! I know you can do it! Keep kicking ass!!

    Liked by 1 person

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