8/24/2019 @ 9:30pm

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog… No one reads them anyway…

I want to start going to church but I don’t even know which church to go to. I think I would rather go to a non demoniation church instead of a Baptist church. I believe in God but it’s so complicated. I want to live my life like he wants me to and spread the good word through my words and actions. I want to become a better person. I really don’t like who I have grown to be or the things I’ve done. I just want a clean slate so I can start over and be better. I understand that going to church is a lot more than becoming a better person… You should also want to learn about God-and I do. I just feel this void in my heart that is calling out for him to save me.

I thought things were going good with my medication but I got severely depressed a few hours ago. I try to tell myself this will pass and to not let myself listen to all the negative thoughts going through my head. It’s very hard though…. I really feel like God is the only person who can save me and I want to be close to him. I think Church is the answer to a lot of my problems.

My little cousin is going to do online homeschooling and I am really going to have to be in charge of all that. I really hope I can handle all this responsibility. Right now- I had a hard time washing my face and brushing my teeth before bed. I was doing great a week ago. What happened?

I hope this don’t last long.

Published by lostinmyhead07

I'm an Engineer who has a severe case of bipolar 1. I'm just trying to stay in control and win this battle with bi polar.

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